In Pieces

Love that I once lost 

Lost in the strange wood
Wood with full of shadows
Shadows of the fallen
Fallen were the memories
Memories that were gone
Gone but not forgotten
Forgotten were the enemies
Enemies with horrible stories
Stories of a king
King who had a queen
Queen who was an angel
Angel that got us tangle
Tangle was the story
Story that was always told
Told to the nonsense crowd
Crowd with fake proud
Proud was in their applauds
Applauds that were all a waste
Waste was the only reason
Reason for my treason
Treason that was punished
Punished to make me furnish
Furnished was the tale
Tale who had a fairy
Fairy with her trails
Trails were a sign of hope
Hope to the ultimate rope
Rope that can be used
Used to restore the fuse
Fuse the power of love
Love that I once lost

Lost and finally frost.

The Lost World

Baby am I all lost? I mean, of course things don't always turn out the way we want, most of the times they don't and are called sad days I guess. But is that it? Is that like a last option for us to hold on to? Or is there any other way of doing everything right? Baby, these questions are slamming my head these days and I wanted to talk to you about it but I literally can't so I thought of sharing it with the other you! Yeah, this blog is like, it's like a portion of you is in it and I feel it everyday. A big deal to me, keeps me running.

Still no word from you and I kinda feel guilty about it, which is true though. I did screw up big time. Without you I'm lost, pretty much lost. Same old stuff, tried my best to roll back to same person that I used to be but I guess you changed me like for life and for real. I'm trying my best to hold up but everything is going down. But about rest, they are all scattered and lost or broken. Girl, you're not only under my skin, but you are everywhere, inside my heart, my head, eyes, bones, around my aura, and pretty much in everything. Then, how on earth can anybody say stuff to me about forgetting you! Even you! Even if I forget you, then what, because all which is left is nothing else but you and only you.

Then again, it's natural, it happens, like sometimes you gotta leave people alone and walk away. It ain't called giving up and it ain't like you shouldn't try. You just gotta draw the line of determination from desperation. All you gotta do is just do this and in doing this you should never let anyone know about your Achilles heel. Because sometimes, it's just nothing else but this and in the end, what is truly yours will eventually be yours and what is not, no matter how hard you try will never be. You told me the right thing. But, each individual is like different from each other. And so am I. I never fell for anyone until I met you. And when I did, it was forever. You may find some other guy, maybe better than me but I know I will never!

I know that you won't get to read it but since I strongly believe in Spirituality and stuff or whatever they call it. I think that my thought is gonna reach your head someday and you will give answers which will reach me through your thoughts. Till then, I just hope you to be happy. Take care! :-*

It Will Be Alright

“ There is an old saying, The harder you try the luckier you get. I kind of like that definition of luck. ”  —  Gerald Ford

I spend so much time wondering if it would be alright. I remember when I broke up, I went all nervous because I really loved her, and I never wanted to loose her but I guess eventually something, someone made me realize that it wasn't going to work out. Maybe she was right, it is not just the three words but much more than that. So much more that I could ever imagine, still have to learn a lot. Then I wondered how am I gonna do that because I know in my heart that I would never love someone else like I loved her. I know that I would never connect with someone like her again. I have this gnawing pain in my chest. It was scary, it was painful and yeah, it was killing. 

I know now that all she ever wanted was for me to see her, truly see her and tell her that I could never live this life without her. All she ever wanted was for me to tell her that I wanted  to spend the rest of my life with her. It wouldn't have mattered where I went, it wouldn't have mattered what I asked her to do, because all that mattered was that she would finally matter to me. But I guess I couldn't get along and came up short. I lost. She did everything that she could, been everything that she could and even said everything that she could but I didn't do anything, even though I could. 

Now, I've been thinking a lot lately about all the things I worry about, and how things always end up. Things are usually not as bad as I think they will be, or as fantastic as I think they will be. There are good times, and there are bad times, but in the end it always works out alright. This time again it ended up alright, we're still best friends and I still have this hope that I will once again win her love one day because I simply can’t imagine my life without her so every time I talk to her, I’m reminded many of the things that I feared would've happened but they didn't and it is because of her that they will never happen. So, now when I start to worry about my responsibilities, about not screwing things up and just try to move on with her, the way she wants, I just remind myself and again and again and again.

But then again, not everyone is lucky and I guess I'm not either. She went away, didn't even cared once to even look back. It's okay, because after that I sure as hell knew one thing, I've had my pains, my sorrows and my lessons and that I gave my hundred percent.  

Sometimes all we need is an encouraging word, and someone to come along side us and tell us that everything will be okay. On every step we get help, we just need to believe that it is otherwise you know how it is, when heart hurts, it kills! I've done wrong things, a lot more one can imagine but it was past and it is now time to give myself a chance to be loved. I will do everything for Her if she can simply accept me for who I am because then She'll deserve it with no questions and doubts. And I'll make sure that it will be alright. And that too very soon. 

You

I'm not obsessed when I always think about You!
I'm not stupid when I cry for You!
I'm not stubborn when I don't get over You!
I'm not a kid when I say I can't live without You!
I'm not a loser when I get depressed for You!
I'm not addicted when I dream about You!
I'm not crazy when I say I'd die for You!
I'm not a liar when I say all these things for You!
Because Baby I Love You so much that I can never love any other girl in the same way like I Love You! 

P.S.: Will You be my valentine? :-*
 @}--'-,---